Monthly Archives: April 2013

Don’t Think Twice

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So, we all know I love

Peter, Paul and Mary

right?

Okay, in case you’re unfamiliar, they were super popular in the 1960s for their folk music.

They did a cover of one of Bob Dylan’s pieces that is personally one of my favorites, Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right. 

I feel inspired by this today.

This song could probably be interpreted as one about a break-up, obviously, but I feel like it’s more than that. It’s as if the narrator is walking away from something that he appreciated and loved, and most likely learned something from, and he’s just giving himself a little pep talk. Like “hey, I know this sucks, but it’s going to be all right.

It’s really a pure genius of a song:

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It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe; it don’t matter anyhow.

And it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe, if you don’t know by now.

When the rooster crows at the break of dawn, look out your window and I’ll be gone.

You’re the reason I’m traveling on; don’t think twice, it’s all right.

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To me, this song is sort of  saying, “I’m not happy anymore and I can tell that you don’t really care about me, so I’m just gonna go.” Obviously, it isn’t that easy to get up and go, but you know what I mean. I think I’ve spent so much time feeling sad and angry that I haven’t thought about the good times – maybe I’m not quite ready yet – and that is what has made it so hard. When you’re constantly wondering “why,” your mind sort of sticks in one place.

So I think I’m at that point where it’s time to say that I’m ready to move on. Not to someone else, but with my life. I’m ready to do what I want without question, ready to live without worry, ready to follow my dreams! I understand that I’ve been able to do that for a while now, but I just don’t know if I’ve allowed myself to put my whole heart into that ability. Honestly, it’s a really scary thing!

There is no hold on me anymore.

And if you’re feeling the same way today, I hope you know that you are free, too.

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It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal – like you never did before.

And it ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal; I can’t hear you anymore.

I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wonderin’, walkin’ down the road;

I once loved a woman, a child I’m told; I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul.

But don’t think twice, it’s all right.

One Works Better.

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My Favorite Television Show. . .

Is by far ABC’s Nashville, which is on every Wednesday at 10pm, (just in case you want to watch).

Anyway, in the past month or so, along with my present situation, one of the songs off the soundtrack has most definitely been my theme song. Have you ever had one of those songs that just pumps you up and puts you in a better mood right quick? This is one of those songs for me.

The song is called One Works Better sung by Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio (Scarlett and Gunnar in the show).

If you haven’t heard it, go listen, but I’m going to paste some of the lyrics here:

Oh, this plane can fly on just one engine; This heart can beat without affection.

I’m not a choice, I’m a natural selection.

Well, this house can stand just fine on it’s own; This hand’s gonna rule without a throne.

I’m not a mother, I’m a queen of invention.

I’m gonna make you see the difference between just quitting and survival.

I’ve got a voice and I’ve made my choice between heartbreak and revival

Oh I know you’ll hate how I make everything look easy to do;

Oh, but it’s my pleasure doing everything better without you,

‘Cause this one works better than two.

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Have you figured out where I’m going? There’s so much I could say, but I’m trying to keep myself on track.

The point is this: we are all valuable, no matter what you believe, and we deserve to be treated well. We have strength, even if it is merely minute and hidden somewhere deep inside us. We all have the power to tell ourselves that “it will be okay.” And above all, we all have the ability to put our pasts behind us, even if it isn’t the easiest thing to do.

The thing is, it’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to suffer. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be mad.

But then comes the moment that is, in all honesty, up to you in the long run – that moment when you pack up your past in a box and throw it up in the attic, only to be opened up for memories later down the road of life. Some people never make it to this point; like I said, it’s a choice. I decided, though, that it was inevitable – I had to make this choice for my own sanity. It’s not really a one-day thing like spring cleaning; it is a slow process of placing more and more in the box each day. Some days, nothing goes in; some days, some comes back out.

As I’ve heard before, “You take one step forward and two steps back,” and that’s normal.

So. Today will you open up your box? Look inside? Think of what you can toss? Go for it.

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“Two wrongs don’t make a right; one leaves the other behind. And I’ve found you only regret when you stay too long with the one that you’ll forget.”

-Nashville ♥

YOU.

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Read This:

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Living someone else’s life. That has most definitely been my problem.

What I have learned is this: one day, you will learn that you’ve done too much for someone, that eventually you will see that you aren’t giving up, it’s just that you have nothing left to give. It will become clear that the only thing you can do is walk away and stop doing everything. This is called drawing the line, drawing the line between determination and desperation. I’ve learned that the things that are meant to be yours, eventually will be, and what is not yours, no matter how hard you try, never will be.

So yes. This is hard; this is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It isn’t easy to just stop. It isn’t easy to walk away from something to which you have devoted hours and hours of your life. But what would be better if I stayed? Would I be better? Would I be happier?

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I never believed this before, but in the end, all you have is YOU.

Just you. Only you can determine your fate, your future, and your dreams – unless, of course, you let someone dictate that for you. But eventually, that will get old and you will be alone. You will have you. You will have your brain. You will have your thoughts. And what you choose to do with those things is up to YOU.

Let me tell you. Depression is real. Anxiety is real. They make medications for these things, yes. They have counselors and psychologists and psychiatrists all over the world that you can talk to every single day. But if YOU are not determined to feel better, no matter how many drugs you take, you will never get better.

This isn’t to make you feel bad, okay. This is just to remind you that if you want to achieve your dreams, no one is going to push you but you. Your friends, your family, your whoever can encourage you and support you, but if you don’t truly want it and motivate yourself, you won’t reach your goals. So in the end, being happy is a choice. Letting go is a choice, and trust me, this hasn’t been easy for me to accept.

I had to let go of something I dedicated my life to – even if it was the right thing to do – and it was and is still extremely difficult. Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes I’m terribly angry. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I want to give up. But I know that if I ever want to get where I’ve always wanted to go, I have to push myself. And yeah, that means waking up every single day and counting my blessings to remind myself to be positive. And yeah, that means talking myself out of my sadness and my anger sometimes so I can accomplish what I need to do.

From letting this go, I’ve reminded myself that I matter. That I am the most important thing in my life, because without me, I wouldn’t have a life. If I didn’t take care of myself, there would be no point to living. If I followed what everyone else wanted of me, I wouldn’t have a purpose. Everything else is secondary to that, to what I need. Trust me, that isn’t selfish; everyone deserves it.

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