Tag Archives: life

Where You’re Supposed to Be

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As I’m sure you’ve read…

Things in my life didn’t really go as planned. I started this blog when I was in high school – when I wanted to change the world – and when I went to college, a lot of things changed. I had the best of everything, really. I was accepted to The Ohio State University in the Honors Program. I had a supportive family. I liked my classes. I was doing research at the children’s hospital. I had a job. I was making a lot of friends. And in what seemed like a short amount of time, everything changed.

Looking back, it still feels like a rug got pulled out from beneath my feet. I had everything set right in front of me, and look at where I am now – somewhere completely different than I would’ve ever expected.

BUT:

Through the experiences I had during that period of time – good, bad, and really bad – I found what happiness really is. Yeah, that sounds corny, but hang on.

I think we have this ideal in our minds of what our lives should be like or what we should be doing, but is that really true? Life hands us a lot of different choices, many different paths from which to choose. I think we often find ourselves choosing the paths others expect of us, and then find ourselves empty.

But happiness isn’t always found in expectations. It’s not always in what people see you doing or what you would be best at doing. It’s not always with the people you should be around or in the place you should be at:

Wherever you end up, you were supposed to get there.

I was meant to go to big places – a big university, a big city. I wanted to have some monumental career, my name on a plaque or in some published article. I thought I could change the world by overexerting all of my energy into school and my job. I thought I needed people just like me all around me to push me.

The truth? I burned out. Yeah, that’s right. It didn’t work out. I didn’t meet my own expectation. So I moved back home, started going to a smaller school, found a full-time job, made new friends. And you know what?

I’M HAPPY.

That’s the real truth. I found happiness when I let go of the expectations I put on myself and when I stopped thinking about what other people expected of me. When I put away the should bes and could bes and would bes and did what I wanted to do. 

As cliche as it sounds, people – everything happens for a reason. Where you are right now at this very moment – whether you’re reading blogs to pass time waiting for an appointment or being lazy on break at work, whatever – is where you’re supposed to be. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Even if you have no idea whatsoever what you’re doing with your life. Even if you know you want to be doing something else. There’s a reason.

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Freshman Year. Check.

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Well hey.

I guess you can say I got swept up in the end of the year and that would be true! I got really involved with my church and then finals came along and things were really crazy. But I am back home now for the summer, a birthday has passed (yes, I’m nineteen), and I’m done with my freshman year of college. Wow, that’s really hard to believe.

I’d like to recap this past year at college. No, I’d like to recap what I’ve learned. Why? Because I would never go back and relive my freshman year again, but I have sure gained a lot of knowledge from it.

You know, it isn’t even my college experience. It just happened to be the time that this took place. My life at Ohio State was great. I met some great people, learned a lot of great things, and participated in so many great activities. But, most importantly, I have found out who I am. This wasn’t until recently, literally in the last two months, but I have realized what it is to figure out who you are. People say they just “get it” one day and know who they are, but I believe that you find yourself in the lowest of low.

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Why?

Because in that dark place, when you’re probably alone and you feel like you have no one, you’re just stuck with yourself. You and yourself have to pick up the pieces. You may find someone that is willing to help you, but when it comes down to it, it’s all up to you. The best part is, though, that as you pick up each piece, each brick that makes you YOU, and start putting things back together, you learn a little bit more of yourself. When you’re broken, some of those pieces can’t be replaced, so sometimes you have to recreate that part of your life and that’s a good thing. That’s how you figure out who you are.

So who am I?

I’m just a girl. A simple girl. I was raised in the suburbs. I go to The Ohio State University. I strive for perfection. I have big dreams. I try my best at almost everything I do. I love God. I love my dog. I love extra cheese on anything. I have a great family. I have amazing friends. I really enjoy driving my car around with the windows down and the music loud. I have a thing for Peter, Paul & Mary and The Beatles. I play the piano and sing at the top of my lungs when I’m home alone. I’m a little weird.

I may be just a girl. But I am ME; the ME I figured out by myself.

That’s what I’m proud of. ♥

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You Deserve Better

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Shout Out to Anyone Hurting Today

What does it feel like to be hurt by the person you love? Can you describe in words exactly what that feels like?

I’ve tried. I still don’t have a description.

But whatever it is, it isn’t pleasant; in fact, I’m absolutely sure that there’s nothing like it.

However, we were made to be strong people. We are people that strive to be positive and to be happy. So, how can you do that when you’re hurting? Trust me, I know it seems impossible. But here is what I’ve learned:

Think About Who Hurt You.

Did you deserve it? Probably not. Nobody deserves to be hurt. Does this happen often? Do you consistently feel this way? Please listen to me and understand that it won’t get better.

I’ve learned that sometimes all you can do is try; you can give every single piece of yourself and find that it still isn’t good enough, that they want more. Sometimes you keep trying to give and to give and to find more within yourself that might satisfy them, pacify them. But it won’t. It never will. All that happens is you find yourself near complete destruction.

This sounds extreme, and it is if you think about it, but these things just happen over time and sometimes you don’t even see it. Open your eyes, okay?

This is my piece of sunshine for you: You are worth it and you don’t deserve anything less than the best, no matter who you are. You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be free to accomplish your goals and dreams. You deserve to feel loved.

It’s hard, but let the bad out of your life.

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A New Change.

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Hey Friends.

So. Where do I start? This year has not gone as I’ve planned, despite how happy my last post (in October) sounded. I don’t know if I should go into extreme details, but I just want to start over as I have in the other aspects of my life.

At first I thought about starting a completely new blog, but then I thought no. This has been my blog from the beginning, and it is the one thing I won’t throw away. So here I am, my lovely subscribers and readers, blogging sunshine per usual.

I have learned so much in the past month, so many things I had never really seen before. I’ve learned how to be an adult and how to be independent. I’ve realized how important my parents and my friends are in my life. And I’ve especially seen how much I’ve missed blogging!

So, I’m back for real this time. And that’s a promise. Got it?

From this blog on, it is a new beginning. A new journey.

Trust me. I’ve got a lot to share 🙂

♥Stephanie

My Ten Favorite Things (Other Than People)

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I Believe:

Everyone has things in their lives that make the day simpler. I got this idea from another blog, though it was one hundred things (maybe I’ll get that far someday), but I thought it would be a great way to highlight the good things in life. I think sometimes we take the little things for granted and just get used to them….maybe after awhile we forget how important they are in our lives.Well, here are the top ten things in my life; what are yours?

#1. My Dog

The guy I’m going to miss the most while I’m at college! Adopted from a rescue shelter, my family and I helped nurse Jersey back to health; he was a tough little guy. I swear he understands me more than I think; he knows right when to be by my side!

#2. Notebooks

I sure love my writing! Now that I’ve adapted to writing my stories on the computer, I don’t use notebooks as often, but I used to fill them with my handwritten novellas. I have piles of them but still love to write away (:

#3. Music

Oh, my sweet escape. What emotion is there that music fails to describe?

#4. Lake Erie

I’ve grown up around it and it will always hold a place in my heart. Seeing the water always seems to calm any frustration..

#5. Lucky Charms

My breakfast every morning and sometimes a late-evening snack. It can be eaten moist or dry; it doesn’t matter!

#6. My Droid X

Since most of my friends live so far away, it’s nice to be able to keep in contact so easily. Honestly, the best phone ever made in my opinion! Can’t say I could go a day without it. ♥

#7. The Ohio State University

My newest home! The achievement I am most proud of….How firm thy friendship – OHIO! ♥

#8. My MacBook Pro

Truly the most useful companion. Perfect for my blog, social media, photo-editing, and story-writing!

#9. The Ohio State Fair

Ah, how the fair never ceases to amaze me! The food, the many different people, the animals, the rides, and the festivities! I don’t know if I can go a summer without visiting the good ‘ol fair, even when I’m out of the youth choir!

#10. Crocheting

Everyone needs something that calms them down and for me it would be crocheting. Whether I am sad, angry, or even happy, I can take it out on my work. What a wonderful hobby!

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”

-Mother Teresa

Who I Am, Who I Am Not.

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“I’ve learned that no one can tell me who I am,

but those people who have torn me down

have surely showed me who I am not!”

-Unknown

I chose this quote for today because of how relevant it is to everyday life. It seems as though our purpose in life is to find out “who we are” and never give up on that person. However, I see life as a piece of artwork that is never truly finished. Each day for the whole of our lives, we find something knew about ourselves: things we enjoy participating in, types of people we love, foods we like or dislike …. our palettes are forever-changing!

I’ve also noticed in my own experience that while no one can define who we are (if we choose not to let them), people truly shape our lives in many ways. The experiences we have with others, how we view people, the way that people treat us all play a role in how we view ourselves and act later. Think about the people who have shaped you.

What or who has made you choose to stay and not stray from the path you are on?